I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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