Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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