I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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