you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
