I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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