we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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