this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm having to shit out rocks
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
