Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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