come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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