Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
