i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize