SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
