No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
