I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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