out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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