you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
