It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I FOUND THE LEGS
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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