I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
