Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
