I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
