eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
