DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
