We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Swine flu is the new snow day.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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