this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
home. puking in laundry basket.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
