She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
