I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
