Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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