Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
