dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
