So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Randomize
