When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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