swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
