I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
