I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
