well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
