i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
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