does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
