I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
