yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
