So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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