can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
What changed your mind?
Being sober
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
