You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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