is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
