Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
we're making bets on your personal life
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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