For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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