I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
