he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
