He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
