I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
