Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
