the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
