I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
now i know why i became what i already was.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
