now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
