There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
