Already got asked if we're dating
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
