Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
