my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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