i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
